Monday, December 10, 2012

Is it just me?

OK, seriously ...what is it with people's obsessive desire to have their noses (and their running mouths) constantly in other people's personal business?  I've seen more relationships, friendships and potential long-term happiness ruined by rumors and assumptions than I care to recount.

It seems just about anywhere I go, someone is trying to talk about someone else behind their back.  "Did you hear that Joe is cheating on Jane?"  "Wow..did he tell you that?"  "No, Mary heard Jill talking to Steve about it last week in the back room.  Can you believe it? What a jerk .. using Jane like that just because she has money."  Suddenly Jane gets wind of it, assumes that it's true because 13,291 people told her different versions of the rumor and she dumps Joe.  Was he really cheating on her?  Who knows, but the damage is already done.

It's been said that weak-minded individuals start rumors to make themselves feel better, out of jealousy, or just because they are plain mean.  They don't like a certain individual, or in some cases like another individual better (scenario:  Stacy likes Jim.  Jim likes Gale.  Jim's friend likes Stacy better) and they start a rumor about said individual.  They don't care if it's true or even if it's remotely in the ballpark of what someone would do.  They just tell the right two or three people and BAM... wildfire.  The rumor is spread through the social networks (and thanks to places like Twitter and Facebook -- all over the world) in a matter of hours.

Many people, including some of you, may be thinking to yourself "well it's just a rumor.  If YOU know it's not true, then what's the big deal?"   The fact of the matter is, you can't help what other people are going to say and do, or what they are going to believe.  The big deal arises when relationships, friendships, and sometimes LIVES are ruined when a rumor is started and gets into the wrong hands.   I am not exaggerating when I say that lives can be ruined with a rumor.  Let's say Noah has 2 young kids; he's been fighting his ex-wife for full custody of his kids for years.  His ex-wife's best friend decides to "help" by starting a rumor that he was sexually harassing a student at the school he is a teacher at.  Authorities get a hold of this "rumor", he's suspended from his job, and loses custody of his kids because of it.   His life is forever changed, as are his kid's lives, all because someone couldn't keep their nose out of his business.

Lately, I've had more knives in by back than usual, it's getting a bit crowded back there.  You'd think if people didn't like me THAT much, that they'd look me in the eye and tell me.  Instead they spread rumors, share my personal information and stories with others, and generally try to make my life as difficult and as sad as possible.  Some days they succeed.  Other days they don't.    Although I attempt to let it roll off my back as much as possible, sometimes these viscous little liars get the better of me; usually when someone I care about gets caught in the cross fire.

You see, you can attack me all you want but do NOT involve the people who are important to me.  That's where I draw the line and start calling you out on the carpet.  Don't think I won't do it.. because I will.  I don't care who you are, how "important" you are, or who your friends and connections are; if you start screwing with the happiness and well being of the people most important to me, you WILL be confronted about it and the situation will be handled.  I just don't tolerate that kind of behavior in my life.

So, there you have it kittens.  My personal little stance on the rumor thing, believing what you hear from others, and making assumptions.  If you don't hear something directly from a person, do NOT assume what you  hear is true.  Don't repeat it.  And above all else, don't talk about anyone's business but your own.

Be KIND, be compassionate, think about how your actions and words affect other people.  Remember that YOU are responsible for more than just yourself when you decide to put someone else's name in  your mouth.

Kittens, please I beg you, spread LOVE before it's too late.